Oracle

Ask The Oracle

Hello Darling. Please enter a yes/no question in lower case letters, then press the - ask me - button, and I will respond

I just may not tell you what you want to hear

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Welcome to the Lavender Pillow Obnoxious Oracle

The Oracle is here to help you make all your important decisions but she can be a bit grumpy and cryptic..... Well when we say a bit grumpy and cryptic, what we mean is she can be downright hostile, sarcastic and beligerent. Just think Elvira with PMT. She has never been the same since she dropped her crystal ball on her toe and cracked it.... Since then the answers come out a bit sideways at times. Give it a go anyway....... Just ask anything about your future... She will answer in her own peculiar way.

This service is provided for use as a novelty and anyone living their life according to the advice given by the obnoxious oracle is a sad little muppet who deserves everything they get. We therefore take no responsibility for loss, damage, injury or slow and agonising death either directly or indirectly caused by following the advice given.
If you insist on following the Oracles advice...Please always wear protective clothing at all times and do nothing without consulting a health and safety consultant, your GP, your spirit guide, your gaurdian angel and probably a life coach.