NLOctober2007

Hi everyome and welcome to the long awaited July Newsletter....... Well the July/August/September/October newsletter actually.... Some of you have even been emailing us asking when the next newsletter would be coming out...... we have had to explain that things don't happen quickly here in Cornwall and that the newsletter would be coming "Dreckly".
We hope you are all well and those of you who suffered in the flooding earlier in the year have dried out and are getting back to normal again. As usual the summer season has just eaten up every available hour and the newsletters have had to go on the back burner..... so we apologise if this one is a bit stewed and burnt around the edges.

We have so much new stuff to show you that rather than present you with 10 what's new pages we thought we would ration the new stuff out and give you 5 pages this month and another 5 pages in a few weeks time...... You can have too much of a good thing you know........ We wouldn't want you to go into retail therapy overload now would we....... oh if only ;-)

So if you want to check out the first installment of the new stuff go here

We also have lots of new people looking amazing on our customer gallery so if you have sent us photos recently check out the latest gallery page

We have also added some some new fun pages to the site for you to enjoy.... The first is the

Then there is the

And if that's not enough..... there is always 3 months worth of Bazz's pent up rant of the month to deal with.
So brace yourselves. Speaking of rant of the month..... Some of you may remember the last newsletter where Bazz had a moan about some of our over zealous police officers in Mevagissey..... well would you believe it.... a couple of days after the newsletter went out we had an unexpected visit from a very nice young lad and a pretty young blonde in police uniform....... I though for one awful moment they were going to be strippergrams..... then we thought they had been sent in to take vengeance for my daring to moan about the local police....... but no, they kept their clothes on and they didn't arrest me for wearing a loud shirt in built up area....... they told us they were new to the area and had just dropped in to get to know us. They chatted and were very pleasant and friendly and they now smile and wave as they pass the shop and stick their heads in the door to say hello. So maybe.... just maybe someone at the local police station had read the newsletter and decided that a public relations exercise was in order. Interestingly enough I haven't had any grief about parking on the shop forecourt since the last newsletter.

Some of our local readers may have been surprised to see pictures of Rose plastered all over Cornwall........ I must admit we were a bit surprised as well. We were standing in a queue in ASDA and I said "look that woman in that poster looks just like you". Rose looked and said "Bloody hell that is me EEEEEEK!". It seems that the Cornish Guardian have been trawling their old photo stocks to put an advertising poster together and have found an old photo of Rose from a Red Nose Day fund raising event and decided she was the happy smiling face of Cornwall. She is very embarrassed but I see this as my justification for pressganging her into modeling duties on our clothing pages and on my CD covers. It's just a shame she isn't being paid for her modeling services....... and what's worse, when she phoned the Cornish Guardian (twice now) and asked if it would be possible to have a copy of the poster, they said they would get back to her and never did. We even asked in ASDA if we could have a copy but they were unwilling to part with one...... I must admit that we had to resort to stealing one in the end...... OOOOPS!.... I shouldn't have said that.....just when we were getting back on friendly terms with the local police.

So onto Bazz's Rant Of The Month
The thing that has been winding me up all summer is the number of chain emails I get from well meaning people which are full of sentimental dross and end up by saying that if you send this email to 20 of your friends, something wonderful will happen...... You know the one's..... Lets face it, the only wonderful thing that will happen is that you and 20 of your friends will be added to a list of live email addresses which will be sold all over the world to viagra salesmen and you will all receive a lifetime supply of junk mail and spam.
Even worse are the ones that try to persuade you send them on by threatening you with years of bad luck and all manner of unpleasantness. You know the one's that say John from Sidcup didn't pass this email on and the next day was involved in a serious accident with a giant mechanical claw......... His wife's legs fell off..... His children fell through a wormhole in space and are now living on the planet Zarg..... and to top it all his pet hamster Cedric went down with a bad case of alopecia.

So lets make it clear.... if anyone wants to send me an email telling me what a valued friend I am and telling me what a special relationship we have, then at least make the effort and write one yourself rather than sending secondhand sentiments stuffed with viruses..... and also don't threaten me with death and destruction if I don't send it back to you OK.

So having got that off my chest I would just like to say that if you pass this email on to 20 of your friends something wonderful will happen......... (we will get 20 new customers and we will be eternally grateful to you). Dave from Weston-super-mare didn't pass this email on to his friends and absolutely nothing happened to him for several months.... But it's a bit dull in Weston-super-mare at the best of times.

Anyway moving swiftly on to other matters. We have had a new arival at home.........

This is Alice

She is 10 weeks old, very cute, barking mad and she flies around the house like a small furry rocket leaving a trail of devastation in her wake. All together now.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

So after that brief interlude of soft fluffiness it's back to the ranting. The other thing that has been winding me up was a report on the news that many companies are claiming to be "carbon neutral" when in fact they are not carbon neutral at all. What they are doing is paying companies in India and China to reduce carbon emissions while they continue to pollute the atmosphere regardless. This practice is called buying carbon emissions credits.
Now I may be a bit dense here, but isn't that like the a bloke saying it's OK to beat up his wife as long as he pays his neighbor a tenner a week not to do the same to his wife...... Or the police allowing a mugger to go about his business unhindered because he pays some of his profits into a criminal rehabilitation charity. Mind you things don't change do they...... In medieval times the crusaders used to pay huge sums of money to monks to pray for their souls while they were off slaughtering innocent people in the holy land.
Hold on.... I've just had a great idea..... any of you who want to give up smoking......... You can make this a painless exercise..... You just continue to smoke and pay me £10 a week to not smoke for you..... I'm more than happy to sell you as many nonsmoking credits as you need.
On that subject... Yes I have gone past the 6 month mark without a cigarette. I must confess that the cravings have not completely gone away but the overwhelming need to scream, snarl and kill things has now subsided and the only casualty has been my waistline. Which wasn't as trim as it should have been to start with. Never mind, I'm sure that I will work off the extra pounds with the huge rush of mail order we will be dealing with in the run up to the festive season. So order lots of stuff now and help me get slim.... Hold on I would be more than happy to sell people weight loss credits which they can use when they go to weightwatchers. How does a tenner per kilo sound.... So the next time you a tempted by a really yummy cream cake but feel you should restrain yourself...... Just put a fiver in an envelope and post it to me..... I will promise not to eat cream cakes for a whole day and you can munch your cake without the slightest feeling of guilt.

So, that's probably more than enough for this time as I need to save a rant or two for the November newsletter ("yeah right! like that will happen!" I hear you say).........
Until then

Bright Blessings from Bazz & Rose

PS. Don't forget... if you pass this email onto 10 of your friends, nothing much will happen. If you pass it onto 20 people, nothing much will happen at all. If you pass it on to 30 people, nothing much will ever happen ever again. On the other hand if you don't pass it on and just delete it, a giant comet will crash into the Earth, Aliens will abduct your grandmother, your nose will turn blue and your wardrobe will become infested will aardvarks who will eat all your underwear.

Where Do you want To Go Next

Information

Products

Fun Pages