From Wylde Rose's Alternative Clothing Emporium.
Every season we consult with the high street fashion Gurus to see what poor fashion victims will be forced to wear and to find out what not to stock in our own clothing emporium.
We feel that people should be allowed to choose what they want to wear and not be dictated to by the fat, money grabbing fashion barons. To this end we stock a range of comfortingly unfashionable, alternative clothing.
Five good reasons to wear Alternative clothing
1. You never look out of fashion...... Something has to come in to fashion before it can go out of fashion
2. It costs less...... You can wear the same clothes for years rather than having to replace your entire wardrobe every 3 months for fear of being seen wearing last seasons Colours. Don't be fooled, pink is not the new black..... black is just bloody black OK.
3. You always look good....... You can choose to wear the sort of clothes that suit you rather than having to wear things that are totally unflattering just because everyone else is wearing them.
4. Reduced social stress..... You can walk into any party knowing that there will not be 6 other people wearing the same outfit from Ewe Look.
5. Your clothes work as an excellent "Tosser Filter"....... Lots of people will not want to talk to you because you are a weirdo who wears strange clothing. This type of person is usually not worth talking to anyway.
We welcome your comments on this subject so please email us and let us know what you think.
This summer the Fashionistas have really excelled themselves and the high street shops are full of the most awful clothing we have seen in years. Hideous colours and unfalttering designs which millions of people are snapping up just because the fashion mags say they are essential items. And the only reason they are telling you this is because their income comes mostly from fashion industry advertising. So what else are they going to say..... The following pictures are from the current ASDA range..... We rest our case......
And then there are the poor guys.....
Well things don't change much do they.
Here are some of the latest fashion items available yawn.
Have you ever wondered why the top fashion designers manage to produce clothes this awful. The answer is very simple...... Study the pictures of top fashion designers below and try to see what they all have in common......
Yes.... you've got it..... they all look awful and have no sense of style whatsoever. And before anyone accuses us of looking for pictures that catch them at a bad moment...... These are all pictures of the designers stepping out onto the catwalk to be adored after a fashion show. So you would think this would be them at their stylish best............ Well heaven help us all if this is them at their best. Do you really want this bunch of scruffs deciding what you wear.
Fashion isn't about being hip or cool...... It's about making skip loads of money for the fashion industry who want you to buy a whole new wardrobe every 3 months. Don't be fooled, take control of your wardrobe and fill it with things you want to wear not what you are told to wear. Don't get us wrong here, we are not trying to turn everyone into Goths. We are just providing one alternative. If you like wearing pink tutu's with orange tanktops, then wear them. Just be who you are and not Karl Lagerfeld's sad vision of who you should be.
Alessandro Dell'Acqua
Alexander McQueen
Christopher Baily
Dolce and Gabbana
Dries Van Noten
Giorgio Armani
Karl Lagerfeld
Where Do you want To Go Next
Information
Products
Reference
Fun Pages
Do Not under any circumstance press the next button. You have been warned......
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There are lots more examples but we won't subject you to any more..... We are starting to feel a bit Queasy anyway........
But....... There is an alternative...... Stop spending a fortune on clothes you will not dare wear in 3 months time for fear of looking out of fashion.
Dare to Be Different.... The Revolution Starts Here
Wear what you want to wear.
Be Fabulously old fashioned
Enchantingly Eccentric
Devastatingly Dated
Outragiously Outlandish
Darkly delicious
Amazingly Alternative
Dazzlingly different
Sensationally so last century
Exquisitly Emo
Georgously Goth
Perfectly Punk......
Be anything you want to be other than
Frightfully Fashionable....
Pringle top rrp £120
Christian Lacroix top rrp £130
D & G vest rrp £45
And don't tell us that they are so expensive because they are such good quality and they will last you a lifetime..... because A). they aren't and B). you won't be seen dead in them in 3 months time when the latest range comes out....
Moschino trainers rrp £165
Now there is some revolutionary styling and cutting edge design.... Worth every penny I'm sure.... They must have cost at least £5 to manufacture.... So that's £5 pounds worth of trainer and £160 for the Moschino label...... That's got to be a bargain in anybody's book.... Although, you could alternatively buy some stunning New Rock boots for that money and have enough change left for a good night out down the pub....... and if you get into a scrap with some obnoxious Chav wearing Moschino trainers...... I know who my money's on.....