Ask The Oracle

Hello Darling. Please enter a yes/no question in lower case letters, then press the - ask me - button, and I will respond

I just may not tell you what you want to hear

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Do try to remenber to close the answer window before you ask another question. I'm far too busy to waste my time tidying up after you clowns.

This service is provided for use as a novelty and anyone living their life according to the advice given by the obnoxious oracle is a sad little muppet who deserves everything they get. 
We therefore take no responsibility for loss, damage, injury or slow and agonising death either directly or indirectly caused by following the advice given.
If you insist on following the Oracles advice...Please always wear protective clothing at all times and do nothing without consulting a health and safety consultant, your GP, your spirit guide, your gaurdian angel and probably a life coach.

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Do not under any circumstances click on the button below..... No, really... We mean it...... You may think we are just saying that to get you to press it anyway.... but we are not joking here..... Just don't go there....... And if you do, don't come running to us for help..... and don't expect us to clean up the mess either.